Acchi Kocchi – 01 Review

It’s funny because the girl actually wanted to share the bicycle… Yeah, that’s the kind of jokes you’re gonna get watching Acchi Kocchi.

Acchi Kocchi 01: Love Can Be Very Boring

A comedy-series about awkward romantic relationships is what it wants to be. Boredom in its purest form is what I got from it. After four minutes I checked the time hoping it would be soon over. Acchi Kocchi is a no-brainer for the creators and the audience apparently. Because it features uninspired jokes that get explained afterwards since that’s just the kind of shit kids want to see. It’s also cute or perhaps I should say it takes the concept of moe and throws it at you like you’re supposed to make it funny using your own imagination. But I’m very sure that no imagination can save this show from being one hell of a torture-chamber full of stupidity and blandness.

Synopsis:
ANN might tell you the series is about this: “The serious-minded Tsumiki and the pure-hearted Io feel they never want to be parted, and yet they haven’t fallen in love yet. More than friends but not lovers, they develop an awkward quasi-romance.”
That’s what it’s really like…

Everything’s still okay… Io starts the new joke by telling us that the entire cast of the show assembled by chance. It’s funny because they didn’t meet deliberately, I think. But that’s just the setup for the real joke…

Now this stupid side-character adds for no reason at all that the chance-encounter is like a random encounter… It’s very forced and doesn’t have any kind of flow.

And there’s the punchline! It’s a dull game-reference and the information that Tsumiki would like to kill the stupid side-character. Nisemonogatari may drag at times but at least it’s not as boring as this shit… Also, honestly it never gets better than this.

Review:
A sleeping pill might take minutes to get me to nod off. This episode didn’t even need that much time. With the certainty of being nothing but boring in every way this episode started with a Konata-look-alike from Lucky Star waiting for Io.
Io is the only guy of the show (the other dude doesn’t meet the standards of being human) because he’s cool. And that means he’s a complete sociopath. Animes probably wouldn’t need voice-actors if all the characters would do the shit his character has to do in this episode. He has to speak without emotion, he has to sing a crappy OP-song and he has to make him sound as bored as I am watching the episode. It’s the last part where the voice-acting comes in because I’m bored as hell listening to his lines.
Then you have the cat-girl who looks like Konata from Lucky Star. She’s completely different from her which kinda confused me at first but then she goes berserk from time to time in a tsundere-sorta way but in the next minute she’s trying to act like a dumb baby which is supposed to be cute. She has cat-ears sometimes so that you get the hint and she’s small and she’s shy and pisses herself just talking to Io – because she loves him. Sociopathic dude who shows no emotion and might as well be on drugs for all the interest in reality he shows with his performance and she has fallen in love with him. It doesn’t make sense but it doesn’t need to because the series just jumps right at it, rubs it in the audience’s face and yells at them ‘Deal with it!’. I didn’t deal with it, I simply hated it. Shy love between a sociopath and a shy kitty girl – fine. I don’t care that she has cat-ears because kitties are cute without explaining the logic behind it. But the way this episode makes it so blatantly obvious without just letting them be in a relationship? Not fine at all. It’s not a joke when Io, the sociopath ignores his friends telling him that the kitty-girl loves him. Also, she’s all ‘I love him but I can’t tell him…! What a tragedy!’ but again it’s blatantly obvious! Her behavior is beyond being shy and she starts being dumb although this show apparently thinks that the dumb stuff babies would do would look cute even when students do it.
And there are side-characters naturally which I don’t give a shit about. Been there, done that is all I have to say about that. There’s a buddy for Io, the sociopath and he’s a pervert. Characterization done. I can continue like that and describe the whole cast of the episode. They didn’t even try! Whoever wrote this series… well, he didn’t write the series. This series has written itself by accumulating all the lame jokes and stereotypes we get to see these days without adding anything.
I won’t even try to explain what’s so shitty about this episode but one thing I noticed about the jokes of this episode: They get explained. The jokes are unbelievably lame. At least the voice-actor for Io has an easy job reimagining Keanu Reeves with his toneless and wooden voice-acting. What was the director of this show doing? Did he tell Io’s voice-actor to just read the frigging script out loud and that was it? And the writers… well, I hope it was just one guy because I can’t imagine multiple people not noticing how crappy the jokes are. Just imagine how them coming up with a joke would look like…
Writer 1: Okay, there’s this teacher, young female and… uh…
Writer 2: She’s clumsy!
Writer 3: But that’s the third character being clumsy! Okay, the first one is only clumsy around the guy but that still means we have two characters who are just clumsy.
Writer 1: Who cares, it’s moe! Also, kids are really dumb. So what could she do…?
Writer 2: She could slip on a banana peel!
Writer 1: Haha, yeah, that’s funny, she slips on it because she’s clumsy…
Writer 2: But the show is for kids! And kids are dumb, I mean, really dumb. So a character should explain that she slipped on the banana because she’s clumsy.
Writer 1: And the second clumsy character should slip, too. That will crack them up, these dumb kids.
Writer 2: Right, nobody will care about the repetition. It’s moe and it’s even moer when it’s two moe events in a row. And besides: kids are really dumb.
Writer 3: Shouldn’t we add something? It sounds rather lame, doesn’t it?
(He’s greeted with silence.)
Writer 3: Not that we particularly care about that of course.
Writer 2: Right. And just to make sure let’s announce the second joke beforehand as well. It’s funny because it’s so predictable.
Writer 3: But what’s the joke then?!
Writer 1: Two characters being clumsy.
Writer 3: That’s not a joke!
Writer 1: It’s moe, that ought to be enough.

This show is boring, uninspired and shallow. It’s not funny, the animation has a style but simply reminds you of similar characters instead of having a character of its own. The story is non-existent and the first episode gave me no reason to continue watching this. Dropped.

Episode-Rating: 1/10