Aldnoah.Zero – 24 Review

More like… NOTHING was gained by this entire fight!

I’m still waiting for the announcement of a second season. Not because I like this series, but because the second half had the sort of pacing where a second season would be recommendable. And without it you get a shitty ending like the one this episode portrays. This series never has been very inspired in its creative choices but this series’ finale feels almost like a capitulation. Somehow they needed to find a happy end for everyone and so they tried to find one – even if dramatically speaking it’s a weak one.

Review-Roundup: Aldnoah.Zero 23, Cross Ange 24

He does…? He has sex with the woman he loves and one of his biggest concerns seems to be to count the number of moles on her inner thigh? And why is this turning into a contest between Embryo and Tusk in the first place? Also, I believe, the audience has seen Ange naked WAY before either of them did – multiple times! And technically Ange’s “first time” has been the unpleasant experience of getting raped by Jill… but nobody in the show talks about that anymore, of course.

Aldnoah.Zero 23: Inaho’s robo-self is killing him because brains and stuff. And Slaine is doubling down on his attempt to ruin Earth because that’s what big boys would do in his situation, he believes. And after listening to the emperor’s final confession, Asseylum is ready to take charge! And so she’s about to marry some dude… again

Cross Ange 24: Tusk talks about sex. Alektra takes revenge on her ex. Chris accepts that she’s simply too whiny to be considered a good person. Sala takes an eternity to finish singing. And the world has ended – as expected. One episode left: You gotta wonder whether they’ll really manage to find a sensible ending for this show with only one episode left.

Review-Roundup: Aldnoah.Zero 22, CROSS ANGE 23

Ange’s being as understanding as always…

Aldnoah.Zero 22: Inaho has become robocop. Slaine and Klancain start their own little Game Of Thrones show. And the princesses get very sentimental. Also, there’s a war going on but who cares about that, right?

Cross Ange 23: Great, Ange is back in form! Just in time for the finale, Ange’s ready to be the biggest asshole in any room she’s standing in! Except when it comes to love… Apparently love is the only topic Ange can take serious without becoming a cynical asshole.

Review-Roundup: Aldnoah.Zero 21, CROSS ANGE 22

It’s one thing to notice how that line and the image shown don’t fit together but the whole thing becomes downright grotesque when you imagine someone somewhere has consciously decided that this image should be shown when Embryo says this line.

Aldnoah.Zero 21: The princesses have a heart-to-hear-talk… off-screen. Also, Slaine imprisons them as the two confront him together. Meanwhile, Inaho saves the day for the Earth-forces… again.

Cross Ange 22: Salia gets spanked for misbehaving. That’s how we know that all Embryo wants is strong and intelligent women. ‘Cause those would just love to be treated like that, right?! Also, Ange fucks Tusk because if you put your head often enough between a woman’s legs, she will of course fall in love with you at some point.

Review-Roundup: CROSS ANGE 21, Aldnoah.Zero 20

HAHAHAHAHAHA… oh wait, she’s serious… Sure, she’s a girl after all. OF COURSE her most vulnerable moment had been her girlfriends sort-of not liking her hairstyle during a little party… while she got trained to become a soldier surrounded by other soldiers who saw combat and could die every day, mind you.

This time I review:

Cross Ange 21: Ange escapes with the help of Sala but it turns out she also needs the help of Momoka and Tusk (read: they needed to sacrifice themselves). Meanwhile, Chris fulfils the asshole-ratio of a typical Cross-Ange-episode just fine.

Aldnoah.Zero 20: Slaine continues to stop the shit from hitting the fan – and seems to lose control of the situation. On the other hand, Inaho does… stuff.

Review-Roundup: Death Parade 07, Aldnoah.Zero 19

I really like where Death Parade is going with its premise. There aren’t a lot of series that introduce a premise in order to immediately question and subvert it.

This time I review:

Death Parade 07: Another downtime-episode where the characters are just hanging around. The characters fill the time with flashbacks, introspective questions and goodnatured foolery.

Aldnoah.Zero 19: Slaine does some shit. Inaho does some shit. This week Slaine does more shit. Surprisingly the real princess does some shit. The fake-princess does some shit, too (in the hope that she will do some shit to Slaine in bed, it seems). But shit hasn’t hit the fan… yet.

Review-Roundup: Aldnoah.Zero 18, Death Parade 06

This series loves to make its battles rely on the notion that the enemy is a total idiot. In this scenario… *sigh* One, apparently the distance between the Deucalion and the enemy-mecha is big enough for straight shots to miss. Two, missing the Deucalion means the Martian knight didn’t understand that the Earth is round. Yeah, it’s a trick that only works because Martians don’t understand that the Earth is round.

This time I review:

Aldnoah.Zero 18: Inaho deals with another pesky Martian knight. So does Inaho. The princess awakens… at the VERY END. Guess something interesting is finally happening.

Death Parade 06: A girl meets her idol. Said idol is a bit of sleazeball. The girl doesn’t mind. Hilarity ensues… supposedly.

Review-Roundup: Aldnoah.Zero 17, CROSS ANGE 18

In this scene Inaho’s sister says a lot about why she regrets having made Inaho into a soldier and yet she not once explains why exactly she had ever thought that to be a good idea in the first place. Regret implies there had been a time where she had thought this to be a good idea and yet this scene never explains what said “good idea” had been.

This time I review:

Aldnoah.Zero 17: The Earth-Forces have captured one of the Martian Knights and Inaho has special plans for him. Also, the fake-princess suddenly realizes that most of the Vers-Empire believes her to be the real princess and this leads to some pesky person challenging Slaine to a duel.  Yep, a lot of more stuff nobody really gives a shit about, I imagine.

Cross Ange 18: You would think everybody would be happy to have Ange back and to hear of how the Dragons are actually good guys who will help Libertus. But no, we still have a couple episodes to kill before this series’ finale can happen. Cue pointless drama based on sudden characterization-reversals! Turns out that Jill has become a bit of an asshole in Ange’s absence and she’s quick to show off her assholish nature which leads to Ange, Tusk and Vivian leaving… only to be found by Salia and the other traitors… AGAIN.

Review-Roundup: Aldnoah.Zero 16, CROSS ANGE 16/17

I… I just don’t know what to say anymore. They really want to go all the way with this stupid joke, don’t they? It’s not like they’re even evolving the joke, it’s just the same garbage that gets thrown at you again and again…

This time I review:

Aldnoah.Zero 16: Yuki and Marito do their best to protect Earth but end up relying on Inaho to save the day yet again. Also, Slaine proves to the Vers-Empire that he’s one of the big boys now.

Cross Ange 16/17: The Dragon-people are the certified good people now, I guess. Upon returning Ange has to realize, though, that a few things have changed in the meantime during her absence.

Review-Roundup: Yuri Kuma Arashi 04, Aldnoah.Zero 15

Yeah, sure, that’s how brains work. A few more episodes and Inaho can use telekinetic powers like Scarlett Johannson in “Lucy”, I guess.

This time I review:

Yuri Kuma Arashi 04: Flashback-time! Apparently the Bear-World resembles a fairy-tale-kingdom and the bears send their criminals to the humans – because they can’t give up on their love. Seems like love is a crime no matter where you go in this series.

Aldnoah.Zero 15: Inaho is Odin and Slaine gets adopted. There’s also a war going on… I assume. People certainly fight and die a lot. Why they keep fighting, though, is anybody’s guess…