Category Archives: Cross Ange: Tenshi to Ryū no Rondo
Rough going is a given because the nation’s president is busy maintaining a small café for some reason.
So the Mana-people get to play Mad Max among the ruins of their world while the Normas get to enjoy a new life on a nice island with friendly Dragons as neighbors. Guess, that’s karma for you. You’re a racist because a pervert programmed you to be one and then one day you realize: “Fuck, that pervert has really fucked up my life! Seems it’s time I find some way to survive the post-apocalypse!” At the same time, the Normas are busy fucking dudes because how else are they going to save humanity without the necessity of mecha-battles…?
He does…? He has sex with the woman he loves and one of his biggest concerns seems to be to count the number of moles on her inner thigh? And why is this turning into a contest between Embryo and Tusk in the first place? Also, I believe, the audience has seen Ange naked WAY before either of them did – multiple times! And technically Ange’s “first time” has been the unpleasant experience of getting raped by Jill… but nobody in the show talks about that anymore, of course.
Aldnoah.Zero 23: Inaho’s robo-self is killing him because brains and stuff. And Slaine is doubling down on his attempt to ruin Earth because that’s what big boys would do in his situation, he believes. And after listening to the emperor’s final confession, Asseylum is ready to take charge! And so she’s about to marry some dude… again
Cross Ange 24: Tusk talks about sex. Alektra takes revenge on her ex. Chris accepts that she’s simply too whiny to be considered a good person. Sala takes an eternity to finish singing. And the world has ended – as expected. One episode left: You gotta wonder whether they’ll really manage to find a sensible ending for this show with only one episode left.
Ange’s being as understanding as always…
Aldnoah.Zero 22: Inaho has become robocop. Slaine and Klancain start their own little Game Of Thrones show. And the princesses get very sentimental. Also, there’s a war going on but who cares about that, right?
Cross Ange 23: Great, Ange is back in form! Just in time for the finale, Ange’s ready to be the biggest asshole in any room she’s standing in! Except when it comes to love… Apparently love is the only topic Ange can take serious without becoming a cynical asshole.
It’s one thing to notice how that line and the image shown don’t fit together but the whole thing becomes downright grotesque when you imagine someone somewhere has consciously decided that this image should be shown when Embryo says this line.
Aldnoah.Zero 21: The princesses have a heart-to-hear-talk… off-screen. Also, Slaine imprisons them as the two confront him together. Meanwhile, Inaho saves the day for the Earth-forces… again.
Cross Ange 22: Salia gets spanked for misbehaving. That’s how we know that all Embryo wants is strong and intelligent women. ‘Cause those would just love to be treated like that, right?! Also, Ange fucks Tusk because if you put your head often enough between a woman’s legs, she will of course fall in love with you at some point.
HAHAHAHAHAHA… oh wait, she’s serious… Sure, she’s a girl after all. OF COURSE her most vulnerable moment had been her girlfriends sort-of not liking her hairstyle during a little party… while she got trained to become a soldier surrounded by other soldiers who saw combat and could die every day, mind you.
This time I review:
Cross Ange 21: Ange escapes with the help of Sala but it turns out she also needs the help of Momoka and Tusk (read: they needed to sacrifice themselves). Meanwhile, Chris fulfils the asshole-ratio of a typical Cross-Ange-episode just fine.
Aldnoah.Zero 20: Slaine continues to stop the shit from hitting the fan – and seems to lose control of the situation. On the other hand, Inaho does… stuff.
Let’s set aside how this is another obvious joke aimed at Tusk and the tiresome running-gag associated with his character… Who actually told Hilda about this? Who the hell would say about a person “Oh, yeah, that dude is like mole – except he’s digging and flipping through a vagina instead of earth. Get it, digging and mole…?! That dude doesn’t even know what daylight looks like, that’s how often he’s down there between her legs!”
Cross Ange had been trash from the very beginning but it wasn’t very consistent in terms of trashiness. The series has a lot of crazy moments but it doesn’t have a lot of moments that seem absolutely crazy. Mostly it’s the fault of the series actually because you simply get used to whatever crazy shit the series usually does and since it does crazy shit all the time you end up feeling disappointed when the series misses a chance to up the ante. And this series has missed plenty of such chances. At times it even felt like the series took itself serious (but sadly not in an overblown, stupid way)! This series has a lot of crazy stuff but certainly not enough to be entertaining.
Foreshadowing! Also, way to go, Rolling Girls, using foreshadowing as a way to let a character say “I will do this at some point.” and then let said character do said thing. ‘Jumping the shark’ didn’t become a thing because the audience is too dumb to get what foreshadowing is.
This time I review:
Cross Ange 19: Ange gets captured by Salia and her two traitorous companions. Turns out this doesn’t result in a prisonbreak-sequence. Instead, Ange’s (sort-of) confronting Salia & Co and ends up meeting Embryo to… do stuff. She fails to kill him (of course… after all, the finale hasn’t started yet). And so we simply get a showcase of how Embryo enslaves girls.
Rolling Girls 06: Two sides hate each other. Their leaders want peace. They make peace. The End.
In this scene Inaho’s sister says a lot about why she regrets having made Inaho into a soldier and yet she not once explains why exactly she had ever thought that to be a good idea in the first place. Regret implies there had been a time where she had thought this to be a good idea and yet this scene never explains what said “good idea” had been.
This time I review:
Aldnoah.Zero 17: The Earth-Forces have captured one of the Martian Knights and Inaho has special plans for him. Also, the fake-princess suddenly realizes that most of the Vers-Empire believes her to be the real princess and this leads to some pesky person challenging Slaine to a duel. Yep, a lot of more stuff nobody really gives a shit about, I imagine.
Cross Ange 18: You would think everybody would be happy to have Ange back and to hear of how the Dragons are actually good guys who will help Libertus. But no, we still have a couple episodes to kill before this series’ finale can happen. Cue pointless drama based on sudden characterization-reversals! Turns out that Jill has become a bit of an asshole in Ange’s absence and she’s quick to show off her assholish nature which leads to Ange, Tusk and Vivian leaving… only to be found by Salia and the other traitors… AGAIN.
I… I just don’t know what to say anymore. They really want to go all the way with this stupid joke, don’t they? It’s not like they’re even evolving the joke, it’s just the same garbage that gets thrown at you again and again…
This time I review:
Aldnoah.Zero 16: Yuki and Marito do their best to protect Earth but end up relying on Inaho to save the day yet again. Also, Slaine proves to the Vers-Empire that he’s one of the big boys now.
Cross Ange 16/17: The Dragon-people are the certified good people now, I guess. Upon returning Ange has to realize, though, that a few things have changed in the meantime during her absence.
Considering how stupid most romance-sub-plots in shounen-series are, there should be way more way blatant remarks about getting to third base and even further just for the hell of it.
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The Rolling Girls 01/02: Turns out that Japan without any authority-figures just becomes a battle-royale of superpowered weirdos and those who are happy to help the weirdos fight those battles.
Cross Ange 15: Tusk, Ange and Vivian finally meet the mysterious Dragon-people who… talk a lot, it turns out. Yep, another episode of Ange and Tusk acting needlessly bewildered and confused while people explain the series’ setting to them.